As moms, we sometimes get sucked in to presenting only the best parts of ourselves. We post only the most flattering pictures of ourselves, our kids, and our home. Because let’s be honest, people are judgy. And, as a people pleaser by nature, I lean toward caring what other people think. But if I’ve got you thinking that I have it all together, rest assured I do not. (And have you read The Apocalypse Car? Not fiction, y’all). Chances are, if I post a picture of a project on my kitchen island, there’s a stack of paperwork, the kids’ emptied backpacks, and a “recipe” from my 3 year old Sous Chef on the kitchen table behind me. On the rare occasion everything falls into place, TRUST ME: the basement is still off-limits.
Sure, I like the house to be picked up and clean, especially when I’m expecting someone. But chances are, if you drop by my house unexpectedly, it probably looks like a mid-size tornado tore through my living room. And my kitchen. And behind every closed door. Seriously, just ask my mom.
Even as a stay at home mom, you really don’t have time to do it all. At least I don’t. Being a mom is a lot like juggling. And while my house is very much a circus (or at least a wrestling ring) I’ve never been particularly good at juggling. I can’t even multitask well – which, coincidentally, research suggests is actually a good thing. Necessary household tasks take at least twice as long with children at home. Just when you get everything prepared to do bills, for example, someone needs a snack. Or help in the bathroom. Or they’ve just dunked a teddy bear in the toilet. Next thing you know, your husband is home and you find yourself looking around wondering, what did I do today? Chances are half a dozen things have been started and not finished. If you’re lucky, these days are rare. But guess what? Even on these days, you’ve done a great job. Sometimes the only measure of success you need is the assurance that you kept the kids alive today. Pat yourself on the back - especially if you have toddlers. Because I swear those little monsters have ZERO fear.
Then there’s the balance of the actual household tasks themselves. This seems to be a tradeoff in my house. The bills and paperwork are done, but the house became a disaster. Or the house is finally clean, but now I’m 17 loads of laundry behind. Sure, there are some systems, tips you can try, and I’m sure you’ll come across some right here on this blog. It feels great to be organized and on top of things, so to speak. But the truth is, as simple as it seems, it’s damn near impossible to keep up with it all. In the absence of following an all day every day cleaning schedule, something is bound to slip. Because sometimes, you’re just too blessed tired. So the laundry piles up, or the bedroom becomes the catch-all, and you’re back to feeling overwhelmed with it all. Tell me it’s not just me, y’all.
You’ve got to find the balance that works for you. If it drives you absolutely bananas (or batsh*t crazy, as I like to say) to have the common living spaces overrun with toys and clutter, tackle that first. I always feel better once that’s done. Then everything else is just gravy.
Do yourself a favor – don’t measure your success as a mom based on someone else’s Instagram feed. Do your best at taming the circus, but schedule those play dates anyway. Your friends will thank you. Your kids will thank you. And heck, you may even be able to use their gratitude to guilt them into cleaning later.